ENTRY: DIARY 07. 021
So there’s this guy I know named Ed, and Ed is an antisocial. Not just that, but Ed’s parents abused him throughout his childhood. Now aged 27, Ed is quite mentally unhinged compared to society’s expectations and standards. As an antisocial since birth, he’s always had odd interests an urges. Distorted sexual fascinations of a violent nature are quite normal for Ed.
Ed has never been good with women – they find him weird and creepy. This makes Ed kind of mad and frustrated, but most of all Ed is feeling growing internal urges which he does not know how to regulate or control.
Ed started searching for options online and was able to organise a date on a popular dating app. The date took place at a restaurant and actually turned out to go reasonably well. The girl named Holly even requested to see him again, inviting him over to her apartment the following week for dinner and drinks.
The following date was kind of awkward and uncomfortable however. It seemed that the more Ed was himself in front of Holly, the more weird and creepy she found him. Things took a turn when Holly told Ed he was weird during a game of truth or dare, at which point Ed snapped.
Ed is now in Jail. Because two days later Holly was found by her mother and father who came to visit her – they found her tied to her bed, and she was dead when they arrived. Later they would find out Holly was raped repeatedly over a 12 hour period. 8 hours of which she was alive for.
Ed later admitted that he did it because he just really needed to satisfy a craving, and that she made him very angry by insulting him.
 ENTRY: DIARY 01. 666
My name is EKMO. I have extremely violent and distorted sexual fascinations. The urges and thoughts I have can be very intense, and difficult to control. Writing dark twisted poetry, depicting murder and torture via drawings and other art, having mental fantasies and using masturbation as a release tool with the help of some non-mainstream-porn-material each and every day helps keep the doctor away. That’s how the saying goes, right? No? Oh. . . But the urges are so intense? Doesn’t everyone have these thoughts? How do they control it then? Okay yes, sorry, I know I know – we aren’t meant to talk about this stuff openly. The urges seem to be getting stronger . . .
I used to roleplay these violent acts with my girlfriend though. We have fun and things get very intense and dark and sickening and probably even dangerous, but damn she loves it. She seems to enjoy taking part in the violent sex, so clearly everyone is this way. . . we are all fucked up on the inside. We all have to hide and do things like this in private for personal pleasure, to avoid a ‘build-up’, to feed the hunger. Right? In the start she was resistant, but she got the hang of it. . .
Think about it EKMO . . . did she enjoy it or is that all she ever knew sex to be?
What? Who are you?? And no. But she’s never slept with anyone else . . . she was young . .
How does she know what’s normal then? Normal is whatever she will experience . . right, EKMO?
The experience I’ve given her. . .
Right . . .
But she likes it. She even came up with a lot of the ideas during the last 12 months… She’s the same as me. Everyone is like this, remember?
Remember? . . . No.
But no one speaks of this stuff though, we all hide it, so of course I don’t remember. I JUST KNOW.
But . . . the more I think about it, the more I remember that she was never the one who showed any initial interest in the things we did, did she? Did I plant the ideas? I came up with all the ‘fun’, not her. I mean, she’s never had any problems with any of it. . but . .
Why would she anyway? It’s normal, right? Like you keep saying. . .
I mean, when you put it like that you make it seem –
Oh and I’m sure if you told others about the type of sex you two had, they would think it’s totally normal as well, right? Just some fun ‘role-playing’, right?
I . .
Pure euphoric sex. Harmless fun. Sickening and disturbing, but fake. Just enough for you to satisfy your inner evil, right EKMO
Well . . . I mean I’ve never really . . .
So she was how old when you first slept with her? 18 years old right? Younger probably? You were what? 20? Hm.
We were so young. . .
She was. Think back EKMO, think properly. How did your sex life really develop with her over your almost four year relationship? You were sneaky. Your concept of sex is never anything to go by. You were tactical. You were very clever and cunning when planting these ideas within her weren’t you?
Was I? I loved her so much. No. I’m not a
Well . .
ha ha ha Shhhhhhh . . . I’m just messing with you EKMO. Besides, it’s not like you’re Ed. That guy got caught because he couldn’t work out how to do things legally. But you EKMO, you were creative and resourceful. You find loopholes to fulfil the same exact needs and urges as Ed. You know how to take from people without them or even you realising it – a perfect crime. You satisfy your evil hunger in practical ways. Your antisocial brain is much smarter and much more evil than you realise. And you’re so young still, we have so much more to achieve . . .
What? How is that funny? I don’t understand . . .Who are you?
Don’t you mean, who are we?