Throughout this blog, you may notice that I speak about my feelings and emotions. This may confuse most as generally we know the antisocial to be void of emotions, specifically empathy. While this is true, antisocial’s still have a sense of feelings and emotions, it just may not be how the regular person feels it. If you haven’t already taken a look at my previous post about the antisocial mind and brain, now would be a good time to give it a read. It will help you to put this information into context.
The average person is born with the ability to feel emotion, but have you ever stopped to think what this means to the brain? Let’s think about this. As I have mentioned before – we are born with a functional brain, however our mind is completely blank and only the environment can begin to mould it into shape after it is born. And so as we are born, we almost instantly feel a rush of emotion in the brain – I would assume the first few minutes would be quite distressful – however here we see our first emotion. Distress caused by discomfort. And so what does this mean to the brain at the time? Honestly, probably nothing much. Nothing other than the reflexive reaction to cry during this traumatic moment. The infant holds no mental understanding of what it is feeling or experiencing – this is because at this point the mind is blank.
You see, there is much more depth to emotion than simply the innate ability to feel these sensations – emotions are taught just as much as they are built into us via genetic coding. In fact, emotions mean very little without any context or understanding. If you really think about it, nothing you feel can hold significant meaning until your mind begins to understand it. While we are born with sensations and feelings, these are only blueprints. The environment (parents, siblings, extended family, teachers, significant others, education, upbringing, socio-economic status, etc.) must interact heavily with these sensations in a meaningful way. Without this your emotions are quite useless within our modern day society.
As we grow and develop we are taught how to regulate our emotions within the context of society – and this is where most the learning takes place for the antisocial mind. The antisocial mind is powerful, and while antisocial’s cannot feel emotions, they are extremely good at understanding the emotions of others. In fact, I would argue that my ability to understand normal emotions are far greater than the average person’s ability to do so. The antisocial mind is very adaptive, and so we almost synthesise what I call ‘thought based emotions’. As the antisocial mind experiences emotions around itself, it absorbs a total understanding of what it is to feel, and creates its own synthetic version of emotion – thought based emotions.
And so while the average human uses its innate emotional blueprint in combination with the environment to develop emotional intelligence, the antisocial mind must do so via social learning. During our early years of life, we honestly don’t have much to go on – in fact not being able to feel emotion and also not having the mind to understand it sets the antisocial back a few years very early on in life. We often hear of antisocial’s having conduct issues by their very early teenage years – I believe that the lack of thought based emotions available to the antisocial mind at this age may be the cause of this.
Once I started high school, I started to experience what I thought were emotions – however they never quite felt natural. While experiencing a growing social life, these ‘thought related emotions’ grew more and more complex. Over the last 2-3 years, I have felt a dramatic surge in my emotional intelligence (something I will discuss in another post)
While I know these are not real emotions, I believe that they are the next best thing for a brain incapable of emotion.