An Environment Built to Fail Me

There are plenty of videos, blogs, and articles which highlight the destructive patterns of people with ASPD. The psychopathic and sociopathic traits of ASPD are most useful to pop culture. While a new wave of personal experiences are being shared via the internet which aim to help others who have been victim to people such as myself. I believe there is much significance in these types of videos both for the victims and the viewers, however they lack the contextual information vital in understanding the antisocial mind. Of course, these types of videos are intended for a different purpose and should be appreciated for what they are.

This page aims to facilitate your ability to understand the antisocial mind and its inner workings. Videos relating to personal experiences from a victims point of view are an example of how ASPD can impact the lives of others. These videos are ultimately instances where ASPD has interacted with the environment to create a negative outcome. In saying this, I do not mean to downplay the impact and suffering of anyone’s personal experience – I am merely here to educate.

Learning is one of those things you can only do with your ego and biases aside – otherwise all your learning becomes tainted. You will find that many of your biases, significant experiences, and egocentric views will be challenged on this page. You – as someone who is joining me on this journey of education – cannot let your ego or biases guide the way in which you receive information. You are here to expand your own mind, but you’re also cursed with the power to limit your knowledge. Information must be raw, and you must digest it as it is. As soon as you start to do otherwise, the waters become muddied and the message becomes lost to the human condition. We are not here to sympathise or empathise with the ASPD mind, nor its victims. We are here to expand our understanding beyond what we once knew. Here we have an opportunity to understand the antisocial mind like never before.

So where do we start? The first thing I tell people about ASPD is that it shouldn’t be looked at as a disorder. Because once you put that identity on it you’ve already blurred your lens. From now on it is important that you look at ASPD as a set of tools. Not good, not bad, merely a facilitator of outcomes. These tools give people like us an unfair advantage in certain ways – from an evolutionary stand-point, our genes are superior in comparison to the average person. But just with everything in life, nothing can escape context. You see, there’s two ways to manipulate an outcome – change the tools that are used, or change the conditions and environment in which these tools can be used. The real kicker is that humanity doesn’t really care either way – we turned our back on evolution a long time ago and this very concept holds little meaning in our reality.

We live in a world where we have two separate forms of evolution. One is organic, and the other is man-made. One follows law of survival of the fittest and natural selection, the other follows law of societal structure and systematic organisation. Two well-crafted frameworks which contradict each other in many ways. The emotionally sensitive and empathetic brain doesn’t do so well within the context of the animal kingdom. The law of nature is harsh, brutal, and does not stop for anyone or anything. You can see why human’s naturally drifted off this evolutionary path – we became ‘civilised’ in a world that was too brutal. A world that we are trapped within and bound to (for now), and therefore we did what we had to do – we created a system within the system. Humanity managed to synthesise its own evolutionary system within an already existing system – one that follows a complete different set of rules.

This feat is remarkable, and highlights an elevated level of intelligence. It seems that when the brain evolved from primitive to civilised, our environment also had to change and adapt with it. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I almost feel as if I was taken out of my natural environment and plopped into society – unable to function in my new environment. Our societal structure, rules, laws, beliefs, ideologies, and morals all shape society. My emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health all suffer greatly within this environment – it’s almost a sacrifice I make to be able to function in our world.

What people may not realise about people with ASPD is the amount of mental strain, effort, and discipline it takes to be ‘good’, and the almost reflexive ability to behave ‘badly’. When I say good and bad, I’m taking a ‘human-point-of-view’. My readers need to grow beyond this idea. Accept the idea that ASPD are a set of tools built in to a species – they are tools that drive our every behaviour, behaviour used within a specific environment in order to survive. When you replace this environment with our modern day society, our behaviour can result in emotional and physical cruelty, harm, and other dangerous activity.

Human’s created a system within a system because their brain’s evolved and no longer suited the environment in which they were in. While humans thrive in this synthetic world, it is clear to me that only the most recently refined human genes can comfortably thrive in our world. For people such as myself – this world will forever be a struggle.

EKMO

5 thoughts on “An Environment Built to Fail Me

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  1. Hi, interesting perspective. I’d say ASPD people are wired differently to lack empathy or the ability to care about anyone but themselves. Agree, our current environment is well suited for such individuals, they excel when cruelty abounds. If those traits are evolutionary the future is bleak, don’t you think?

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    1. Great point. I feel that the antisocial mind has both good and bad qualities. But now that the world doesn’t really need us anymore to survive or push our species forward, perhaps humanity is better off without us..

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  2. We only ever hear about the “bad” antisocials. Through pop culture, victim blogs/vlogs, famous serial killers etc. I think there are an equal amount of “good” antisocials in our world. One’s such as myself who can do much good in society. The spotlight tends to shine brightest on the worst of the antisocials though.

    I guess what I am saying is that for all the bad we do in the world we also do a lot of good. Usually functional antisocials aren’t ever diagnosed. However even I admit that I have hurt many of my loved ones deeply, as ‘good’ as I am. Throughout my life I have done much bad while trying extremely hard to be a good person.

    Taking all that in to consideration, I believe that humanity is better off without us. Society is driven by emotions now more than ever before. It’s nothing personal toward my people, but we’ve served our purpose on this planet. There’s no higher power than evolution, we should all embrace such a beautifully designed system 🌍❤

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  3. You are going to become annoyed with me because your words resonate with me on a very deep level and I will be reading through your blog and doing a lot of commenting in upcoming days 😁

    I am at the opposite end of the spectrum and am one of the extra sensitive, overly empathetic beings. But, I also feel the same way you do…that I have to sacrifice to function in this world. I medicate to dull myself so that others can handle me. While it is true that my own emotions overwhelm me as well, it is more for others that I medicate and try hard to temper my highly sensitive range of emotions. Because anything outside of what I call the “sunshine club” optimism rainbow koolaid drinkers is unexceptable in this world. And so I have to hide my soul every day and put on a mask of bubbly personality. I have become quite an actress over the years.

    How you describe trying every minute of the day trying hard to be “good” and how it takes everything you have reminds me very much of my daughter. She has Asperger’s (yes, I know that is now an obsolete term thanks to the DSM-5, but I don’t like the new categorizations of Autism). It literally exhausts them to function “normally” once they figure out the learned behavior they are supposed to confirm to, because it will never come natural to them. I wonder if Autism will ever end up in cluster b because they also lack empathy. But your description in one of your other posts where you separate feelings and emotions is so wonderful. Because alot of Aspies get irate when they are told they have no empathy because they feel they are compared to sociopaths. But I see it in my daughter. She feels things, and can even feel them deeply, but she most times cannot think outside of herself. If she does, it is only in a given moment in response to caring about someone and seeing them deeply upset about something, but it doesn’t seem to affect her in the long run. Like you described ASPD’s, her genetic coding I believe is superior in many ways as well, she’s an absolute genius by nature-99th percentile on the cognitive standardized testing, a little lower on the learned testing, and the first signs I ever had of anything being different about her was her giftedness at a young age. That showed it’s face long before the “bad* part of the Asperger’s did. The “bad” part didn’t show up till she was 4 and started full time school and was indoctrinated in to the world, social issues and had to deal with anxiety.

    So this peering in to your mind also is quite relevant for me for my daughter as well, in addition to trying to understand my NPD dad. With my daughter I am in charge of her environment, so I hope that I can regulate things and nurture her enough to minimize the effect that her lack of empathy will have on others, unlike my father. I am the victim in my dad’s story and can only try to figure out how to minimize my own inner reactions to his insidiousness.

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