What’s the difference between a Monk and a serial killer? Well . . . A lot, I guess. I think for the average human that’s the obvious answer. To allow the average human mind to drift beyond the human ego is near impossible – something I have said before. I find that by adjusting the structure of a question we can allow the mind to loosen up a little though, so let’s try that.
What are the similarities between a Monk and a serial killer? Now that’s an interesting question. If you’re happy to do so, I’d like you to let your mind focus through this particular lens for a moment.
Leave your knowledge of social constructs, moral frameworks, and emotions aside. By separating your thoughts from these three things you may be able to see things for what they are, without the influence of your brain – that thing inside your head which skews your overall perception. Some call this enlightenment or higher consciousness.
Now see for me this is easy, my disorder allows me to disconnect from human constructs, emotions, and morals. Someone with ASPD does this all the time not by choice, but as a default setting.
You know who else does this quite easily? Monks. True Monks with a seemingly innate ability to disconnect from human-constructs of identity and meaning.
And last but not least, serial killers. Many, if not most serial killers suffer from complex personality disorders which commonly include ASPD, NPD, and other cluster B disorders.
These psychopaths share a unique innate ability with people like myself, but also Monks. And with that in mind I want to share my theory on why the monk and the serial killer share a unique and innate gift. This gift is what we as people have decided to label with names such as antisocial personality disorder. Ultimately it does not matter what you call it, because antisocial personality disorder gives me the unique ability to experience the world without the influence of social constructs, moral frameworks, and emotions. I argue that both the Monk and the serial Killers are by-products of ASPD. Without ASPD, you cannot truly be a Monk by definition, and nor can you be a cold-hearted psychopathic serial killer. ASPD can result in a spectrum of outcomes, and those outcomes can become truly powerful in the greatest ways but also in the most destructive of ways.
You see, Monks and serial killers are just examples on opposite ends of the same spectrum. In between we have artists, poets, serial rapists and crime bosses, innovators and corrupt businessmen, dictators and peace leaders. You see, ASPD is simply a set of tools that the 3% (or so) of us are cursed and blessed with. Our upbringing and environment play a massive part in the outcome, and that’s important for everyone to understand. That’s where the difference is born.
When you have ASPD you can “feel” very isolated and alone no matter how many people are around you. I recall when I was first able to put the label of ASPD to my disorder, part of me was extremely excited. You see, I thought if I typed it into YouTube it may come up with videos from people studying ASPD, living with someone who has ASPD, or is diagnosed with ASPD themselves. I felt that perhaps I could find a sense of connection and belonging – something I have always struggled with.
After an hour or two however, it became very apparent that there was a general distaste for people such as myself. In fact, 90% of the videos were about “how to identify, avoid, and remove these people from your life”. While these videos have made me feel a lot more isolated, I could not help but watch hours upon hours of them.
I’ll talk about the isolation in another post, but for now there’s another message which I am trying to draw from this information. You see, as someone with ASPD, I have found that love, care, and compassion have played a vital roles in influencing my “outcome”. I believe there is a lot more to think about when it comes to simply “identifying, avoiding, and removing”, people like us.
I have done some extremely horrible things in my life, but I have also done some extremely great things. My ASPD continually influences my behaviour, but beyond this there is a stronger influence. I have come to realise that when the right people surround me, and are loving and supportive of my condition, I am able to become a better person. However, during times that society has shut me out, I cannot deny a deep sense of evil and negativity which begins to consume me from the inside. This is that very same monster that can come out and do a lot of damage.
I believe that while there is a logical reasoning behind people’s biases, it is important to simply consider how you can influence the outcome of an antisocial. The love and care shown to a Monk may be the same love and care which lacks in a serial killers’ life.