ASPD, Monks, and Serial Killers: Higher Consciousness and True Enlightenment

What’s the difference between a Monk and a serial killer? Well . . . A lot, I guess. I think for the average human that’s the obvious answer. To allow the average human mind to drift beyond the human ego is near impossible – something I have said before. I find that by adjusting the structure of a question we can allow the mind to loosen up a little though, so let’s try that.

What are the similarities between a Monk and a serial killer? Now that’s an interesting question. If you’re happy to do so, I’d like you to let your mind focus through this particular lens for a moment.

Leave your knowledge of social constructs, moral frameworks, and emotions aside. By separating your thoughts from these three things you may be able to see things for what they are, without the influence of your brain – that thing inside your head which skews your overall perception. Some call this enlightenment or higher consciousness.

Now see for me this is easy, my disorder allows me to disconnect from human constructs, emotions, and morals. Someone with ASPD does this all the time not by choice, but as a default setting.

You know who else does this quite easily? Monks. True Monks with a seemingly innate ability to disconnect from human-constructs of identity and meaning.

And last but not least, serial killers. Many, if not most serial killers suffer from complex personality disorders which commonly include ASPD, NPD, and other cluster B disorders.

These psychopaths share a unique innate ability with people like myself, but also Monks. And with that in mind I want to share my theory on why the monk and the serial killer share a unique and innate gift. This gift is what we as people have decided to label with names such as antisocial personality disorder. Ultimately it does not matter what you call it, because antisocial personality disorder gives me the unique ability to experience the world without the influence of social constructs, moral frameworks, and emotions. I argue that both the Monk and the serial Killers are by-products of ASPD. Without ASPD, you cannot truly be a Monk by definition, and nor can you be a cold-hearted psychopathic serial killer. ASPD can result in a spectrum of outcomes, and those outcomes can become truly powerful in the greatest ways but also in the most destructive of ways.

You see, Monks and serial killers are just examples on opposite ends of the same spectrum. In between we have artists, poets, serial rapists and crime bosses, innovators and corrupt businessmen, dictators and peace leaders. You see, ASPD is simply a set of tools that the 3% (or so) of us are cursed and blessed with. Our upbringing and environment play a massive part in the outcome, and that’s important for everyone to understand. That’s where the difference is born.

When you have ASPD you can “feel” very isolated and alone no matter how many people are around you. I recall when I was first able to put the label of ASPD to my disorder, part of me was extremely excited. You see, I thought if I typed it into YouTube it may come up with videos from people studying ASPD, living with someone who has ASPD, or is diagnosed with ASPD themselves. I felt that perhaps I could find a sense of connection and belonging – something I have always struggled with.

After an hour or two however, it became very apparent that there was a general distaste for people such as myself. In fact, 90% of the videos were about “how to identify, avoid, and remove these people from your life”. While these videos have made me feel a lot more isolated, I could not help but watch hours upon hours of them.

I’ll talk about the isolation in another post, but for now there’s another message which I am trying to draw from this information. You see, as someone with ASPD, I have found that love, care, and compassion have played a vital roles in influencing my “outcome”. I believe there is a lot more to think about when it comes to simply “identifying, avoiding, and removing”, people like us.

I have done some extremely horrible things in my life, but I have also done some extremely great things. My ASPD continually influences my behaviour, but beyond this there is a stronger influence. I have come to realise that when the right people surround me, and are loving and supportive of my condition, I am able to become a better person. However, during times that society has shut me out, I cannot deny a deep sense of evil and negativity which begins to consume me from the inside. This is that very same monster that can come out and do a lot of damage.

I believe that while there is a logical reasoning behind people’s biases, it is important to simply consider how you can influence the outcome of an antisocial. The love and care shown to a Monk may be the same love and care which lacks in a serial killers’ life.


8 thoughts on “ASPD, Monks, and Serial Killers: Higher Consciousness and True Enlightenment

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  1. Thank you for sharing this. Just so you know, in my poems, memes, and writings, I am not stereotyping Sociopaths and Narcissists as a whole, rather, I am speaking about the particular ones that I have had personal experiences with, which have been several. As I clearly do not deny, I am a sinner and have made countless bad choices in my life that I wish I could do over. I know I am forgiven, but I still feel regret, at times. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the feedback. Don’t worry I understand 🙂 I think many of the videos and opinion pieces seen on the internet are based on personal experiences. I think it’s very important your stories be shared because they help others. I think for people such as yourself you may find my blog interesting as I aim to make people understand the “inner workings” of a sociopath/narcissist.

      It’s all love from my end 🙃❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much! I think it is fascinating, really. You can let me know anytime you write a new one because I usually don’t know until someone tells me 🙂 I am going to try and get those emojis, too. I don’t have any.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is the type of thing that scares me for my daughter. While I try to show her as much love and acceptance as I can at home, she is ostracized at school and feels very alone and invisible. I hope that when she eventually changes schools in high school that kids are more accepting of her there and that she finds more friends who will not see her Asperger’s qualities as a weirdness that make her unacceptable to be friends with. It worries me that being pushed out by society is what will push her towards more negative behavioral patterns.


    1. I understand your concern. You know, people are going to be brutal at times in the outside world. It can be quite daunting to think you can only protect your child some of the time..

      In saying that – my ASPD made me quite alone and isolated at times during early life. Some years in school were quite hard, however it was something about the LOVE and NURTURE my mother gave me which had me survive and live happily.

      My ASPD-brain is completely out of touch with reality and I had many terrible influences and experiences in school. Honestly it did impact me, but now at age 25 I look back and realise even though I can still be quite an awful person – my mum saved my life. She doesn’t know about my ASPD. No one does tbh. But she raised me with love. And that love grows with you. When you’re at school and having a hard time – that love will always guide your brain and keep you from turning into something awful.

      I just want you to realise that whether you are there to protect her or not – the love you put in her will work as a tool which will ALWAYS stick by her. Its a matter of making sure that love is strong and meaningful to the child.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much for this. That is very comforting and I really hope that this will prevail for her as well. So far, at 10, almost 11, she has done pretty well with maintaining “proper behavior” and treatment of others outside of the home. The ones she treats the worst are us, her parents, and sometimes other family members who she spends the most time with. She takes her frustrations out on us the most and let’s down her act and her mask the most in front of us. Because much like how you described where it takes everything out of you to maintain that “good behavior” in public and to manage your actions so that your thoughts don’t become your actions, she is the same way, so she disintegrates at home after holding up perfectly during school and while out in public during the day.

        I really feel for you that you live with this diagnosis in secret. I hope that you feel some relief from posting here. I know that since I started my blog here (which is also a secretive one from my family and most friends) that I have also felt a lot of relief from some of my mental wars.


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